Beware the Tale Bearer

"The first one to plead his cause seems right, Until his neighbor comes and examines him." (Proverbs 18:17)

Ever been in a situation where someone came and laid out some story about someone else only to find out later that the story was terribly distorted? Most of us have, at some point, probably found ourselves in this kind of situation. The Bible has much to say about this kind of destructive gossip and what it says is not good.

"The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, And they go down into the inmost body." (Proverbs 18:8)

"A man who bears false witness against his neighbor Is like a club, a sword, and a sharp arrow." (Proverbs 25:18)

"You shall not circulate a false report. Do not put your hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness." (Exodus 23:1)

In proverbs 6:19 a false witness is listed as one of the things the Lord hates. He considers it to be an abomination.

Why do people do it? Frequently it is done out of anger or frustration, but sometimes the people who do it just seem to enjoy the drama of it all. It is done with the intention of hurting someone's reputation. It is a repugnant thing since the person who is being victimized usually has no idea what is going on unless someone clues them in. They then find themselves in a situation where somebody might be treating them differently based on falsehoods. This kind of tale bearing is truly nasty.

When someone comes to me with a story about someone else I always take it with a grain of salt. That doesn't mean I don't believe them. There is a balance here. Sometimes people are truly wronged and it does help to allow them to tell their story, but there is a different kind of spirit at work in this kind of gossip. There's a nastiness involved. If you have any discernment at all you can pick it up. The stories usually have no purpose other than hurting someone's reputation or bringing division into a relationship. Sometimes it's to gain leverage or to spin a situation. Sometimes it's an extreme form of self-justification. In a work or family situation the tale bearer may be trying to get some kind of upper hand by ruining the credibility of the other person.

Be wise. Be wary of people who seem to intentionally sow strife. Be careful of people who are too quick to talk about someone else. In my counseling role as a pastor I hear all sorts of things and that comes with the territory, but outside of that role I am very leery of people who just want to tell me about the wrongs of others. Let the Holy Spirit speak to your discernment. Don't allow yourself to be an instrument of the talebearer's manipulation.